As some of you might know, I have a tendency to attract bad luck. Not necessarily terrible life ruining luck…but most definitely unfortunate. But plot twist it tends to turn into something tragically hilarious so what more could I ask for? This is kind of unrelated to the blog…I’m just letting you know what’s on my mind.
I’m in a Starbucks right now…feeling very basic as I stare blankly at my computer trying to decide to write about.When it comes to me…let’s productively rant. It gives you content but myself release of my very small problems. So here’s ten things I currently have on my mind that I could rant about.
- Baggy clothes. Let me tell you. They are comfortable. They look cute on every girl you see walking down the street. So I invest in these wonderful clothing items and wear them around my house feeling confident as hell so I think to myself, “Why don’t I wear these around the town in the morn and look cut but comf.” I then proceed to wear said clothing out the next day and as I pass by a window I’m like oh no! There is a trash bag stuck to the window, let me get that for you little window. But I can’t get the bag off the window. You know why? Because it’s me. It’s because it’s my reflection. I look like a large comfortable trash bag in baggy clothes. And that is deeply unsatisfying.
- Wallets. Why do you have to spend copious amounts of money to buy a wad to hold said money.
- On that note…places that charge you $500 for a glass of water that luke warm. Like what did I do to you to deserve this? I’m thirsty. I just need hydration please.
- People who ride your a** for eternity in a no passing zone and then when an opportunity arises that they can pass they slow down and stay behind you. Your giving me social anxiety when I am sitting alone in my car. This should be my safe zone. Your ruing it Paul, I’m sorry but it’s true.
- When you are sitting in a fairly open coffee shop that has plenty of open seats and someone plops down right next to you…but hold on that’s not all…they also refuse to acknowledge your existence. So you are just sitting there in this awkward existence of invasive loneliness.
- Salad bars that refuse to let you to reuse your plate. Like I don’t want 15 plates on my table…I don’t want people to know that much about my eating habits.
- People you didn’t learn the look but don’t touch rule from their mothers as a child and so when they compliment you on your tattoos they like feel you up and then just leave you there alone and all security breached.
- The price of gluten free bread. Like I’ll die if I eat the other stuff so I have no choice but to eat this $80 sandwich if I wish to partake in the classically cheap PB&J.
- This man sitting next to me currently staring at me thinking I am not noticing but I want to cry.
- People who complain on the internet…wait…
I pray that you stay away from these people and things today. That is all for tonight’s blog hope you all have a wonderful night!