I’m Divorcing My Legs

SO this is it. You are witnessing me giving up on my legs. We’re over, lmao.

On a serious note, I have recently decided to sign up for a 5k Fun Run. It is for all ages and running levels. However, I made a goal to run the entire thing in a decent amount of time. That being said that leads me to believe that I am absolutely psychotic seeing as I have never been a runner.

So this stupid decision ( “Why are you doing it then, if you think it’s stupid?” Well personally Debra, I committed and I am honestly too prideful to pull out.) has led me to an 8 week 5k training program created by Nike. I am on day two…and I feel like my legs are going to snap off my body and leave me for someone else. Tomorrow my mascara is going to be running faster than I will.

So I have collected ten thoughts that cross my mind most frequently while running:

  1. Does everybody jiggle this much…or it this just me?
  2. Oh, hi Satan, thank you for holding on to my lungs for me. I couldn’t have done that to myself.
  3. *See’s someone running past moving their arms in like that ‘drunk gay man on a sitcom you saw once’* Are my arms moving like that? *Is hyper aware of arm movement for the next 10 minutes.*
  4. Dying, dying, crying, dying.
  5. Why this hobby? Why not golf or maybe yoga?
  6. I am better than you at running * jogs past toddler*
  7. How I am I sweating this much? I drank like a cup of water three weeks ago.
  8. Is that a hill? I can’t. Nope. *Slight lip in the sidewalk*
  9. Are those people watching me? Why are they watching me. @peoplemindingtheirownbusiness
  10. *Checks app to see how far I’ve ran* 20 ft. GAAAAAAAH

Jokes aside, even thought the getting started process is a little rough, I waddle proudly through Portland knowing that I am one step closer to my goals and that honestly feels awesome and makes up for the the sore legs.

So, I won’t divorce my legs yet…but they might just give up on me! Comment below some of your goals or your experience with running! That’s all for the daily blog today! Hope You have a wonderful night!


Featured image is by Basalt on Deviant Art


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Para says:

    You are so hilarious! You gave our little group here some big chuckles. Thanks for the laughs! Keep it up, it won’t hurt so much in a couple weeks! (I hope!)


  2. Para says:

    Love it!!
    I know the feeling!
    Great advice and inspiration too!


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