Expressing that you have anxiety…especially when you are particularly oozing that energy in the moment…is traumatizing for both you and the people around you. Now if you clicked on this for a solution…you won’t really find one…but rather just company in the awkwardness.
Having anxiety DOES not mean you don’t have talents, skills, ect….but rather that you are screaming the whole time you are trying to do something, you fear people can hear the internal screams, and you criticize yourself even when there is nothing to criticize.
For myself, as an example, I know…I can write, paint, draw, cook, play guitar, I am a pretty good people person, I deal with health issues daily, etc. But in my head its: you could write better or more, you messed up the paint color, your lines are crooked, you missed a note, I said something awkward, I ate pizza today, etc.
That’s when the internal screams and apologies start leaking onto other people. And that is in fact: Uncomfortable. That person probably didn’t notice or care my little slip ups but now they are getting a pile of muddled garbage apologies that aren’t necessary. And then they say: no need to apologies, you’re okay! Right?
And then its: OMG I’M SORRY I APOLOGIZE TOO MUCH! I’M JUST SO AWKWARD I WISH I WAS JUST MORE CONFIDENCE, CUZ I KNOW I AM A FAIRLY COOL HUMAN BEING, BUT ITS SOOOO HARD.
And then they run away screaming or they check you off as crazy….or so I tell myself.
Point? I know I don’t need to be so hard on myself…I am working on it! I am continuing to work on my self-confidence! But for now I will apologize a little too much, stutter over my own words, and internally scream…and you know what? That’s okay and it’s okay if you experience something similar or entirely different.
It’s okay to be you…and it’s okay to be uncomfortable being you …while you work on trying to give yourself a break. 🙂
I hope you all have a great day, I will see ya all Wednesday!